Duckwise

In the pantheon of Greek mythology, Zeus was king of the gods on Mount Olympus, god of thunder and sky, and a prolific rapist who made Harvey Weinstein look like a Boy Scout. In Hesiod's 8th century BC poem the "Theogony" young Zeus and the Titaness Metis were married, and she became pregnant (in some versions of the story, he raped her), but when the child was prophesied to be even wiser than him, he decided to play it safe by swallowing his pregnant wife whole (no really, the child was going to be wiser than him). Six wives later into his career, Zeus was married to his queen, Hera, when one day he experienced a terrific headache. That pregnant wife he'd eaten a while back was now coming back to haunt him, and suddenly an armor-clad goddess of wisdom with a pet owl exploded out from his head, landing on the ground right before his eyes to the astonishment of all the other gods and completely ruining Zeus's hair. Yes, this was Zeus's daughte...

Sir John Franklin was considered a man of benevolent character, with a strong and jovial personality; the sort of man whose hearty laughter must have always appeared incredulous, the kind with raised eyebrows and a raised lower lip in a sort of frown and smiling side eyes given both ways.  His first wife of two years, Eleanor, a poet, died of consumption at the tender age of 29 (when he was 39).  Three years later, John married his late wife's friend, Jane Griffin, who had just gotten over an unrequited love for that nerd Roget who published Roget's Thesaurus.  Well-traveled, intelligent and ambitious, Jane didn't necessarily marry John because he was a hunk (he was chubby and mostly bald), but with his clout and her drive, they were a formidable social force.  The year after their wedding, John was knighted and became Sir John, making Jane into Lady Jane.  He was Lieutenant Governor of Van Diemen's Land (now known as Tasmania) from 1837 to 1843, during which ...

It was a classic story of boy sees the inbred girl of his brother and sister, brother allows boy to emerge from a fiery chasm in the earth and kidnap his inbred daughter/niece, boy takes girl/niece to the Underworld to be his queen, girl's mother/boy's sister goes into a deep depression and forbids the plants to grow, girl's father/boy's brother decides girl needs to return to the world above, but girl now has to return to the Underworld on a yearly basis for the time of one month per pomegranate seed she ate there, so every year girl's mother/boy's sister gets depressed and doesn't let the plants grow, and that's why we have winter.  His name was Hades (known to the Romans as Pluto), and he was quite a catch.  Despite a difficult childhood in which his father ate him alive and didn't barf him back out until he was a full-grown god, Hades had come to manage his own business as ruler of the Underworld, and as god of the earth's riches, he was ...