Duckwise

In order to have a happy, harmonious family get-together during the holidays, it's a good idea to steer away from topics like religion and politics. Unfortunately for the family of "Good King Wenceslaus," the Přemyslid dynasty that ruled the Duchy of Bohemia in the early 10th century, this was rather difficult given that Wenceslaus's dad, Vratislaus I, was a second generation Christian, his mother, Drahomíra of Stodard, was the pagan daughter of a chief, and everyone in the family was constantly vying for greater political sway over the country. When Wenceslaus was 13, his dad died in battle against the Hungarians, making his grandmother Ludmila (Vratislaus's mother) regent until Wenceslaus could come of age. Drahomíra, doing what any of us would do in similar circumstances, hired assassins to strangle her mother-in-law Ludmila to death with her own scarf. After Christian nobles overthrew Drahomíra to place 18-year-old Wenceslaus on the throne, he...

It's approximately the year 5 BC, but C is fashionably early, so any Magi better move their tookas to Bet Lehem before the Holy Family goes back to Natzrat! According to the 8th century chronicle Excerpta latina barbari , a title which translates as "Excerpts in Bad Latin" (which sounds like the title of a Ricky Martin biography with an award that nobody has ever heard of embossed on the cover and a featured segment on NPR that makes you change the station faster than a pled ge drive), Gathaspa was one of three Magi to present gifts to the Christ-child. Better known as Caspar or Gaspar today, an 8th-9th century Irish text describes him as the whippersnapper of the three Maagi, young and beardless, and sources disagree on whether he was a king or noble of Tarsus or India. The gift to the child most commonly attributed to Caspar is myrrh, arguably the least popular of the three gifts. A resin derived from myrrh trees (myrrh, meaning bitter), myrrh wa...

It is circa 5 B.C. and three Magi traverse the desert in search of a baby to worship. It is not their baby. It is everyone's baby. More specifically, it is the big man upstairs' baby, so it would be incredibly rude not to make an appearance. Magi is specifically the plural of "Magus," a priest of Zoroastrianism. Although their names and number are not given in the Gospel of Matthew (the biblical source of the Adoration of the Magi), they are named in the 8th century Latin manuscript Excerpta latina barbari.   Melichior, more commonly known as Melchior, is the melchiest of the Magi.  If there was a children's storybook about Melchior, it would be called "The Melchiest Magus".  According to western Christian traditions, Melchior was a king from Persia, and his gift to the Christ-child is gold, signifying the child's kingship over all the world.   Either that or Melchior couldn't be bothered to think of anything creative a...